You know what I hate? Lifer Law Clerks

Ok so now that I've hit my 3L year of law school, i've found a new group of people to absolutely fucking despise. Given the shape of the economy and the fact that EVERY fucking job posting requires a minimum of "3-5 years", the only positions that appear to even be available to scrubs like me is a law clerk position with a judge. Except there's one problem:

NOBODY WILL FUCKING LEAVE THEIR GODDAM LAW CLERK JOB!!!

And why is this you ask? I'll tell you why. Because too many assholes graduated from law school, created their ass imprint in their law clerk chair and NEVER fucking left! What the fuck! Are you aware that you're stealing hundreds of jobs from newly graduated law students like me who would likely have a decent chance at your fucking job if you would just go become a REAL lawyer?? They don't care. Clearly, otherwise they would have moved on a long time ago. I wish they'd create a law like in NJ that would fucking scrape all these asshole barnacle clerks off the bottom of the Judge ship, and then shoot them all to boot. FUCK you! Fuck you for adding to my goddam anxiety. I hope all your fucking houses burn down and you're all disbarred for having your fucking law degree gather too much dust.


Look at all these scummy assholes. Just sucking off the SS Free Judge Lunch

That is why NJ is the greatest state in the union. Or at least on the east coast. Those brilliant law makers sat back and said "you know what? Why don't we force the would-be barnacles to wait a year before implanting their asses somewhere and NOT let them stay with their judge?" BRILLIANT fucking idea! God bless NJ. PA can go shove it up its ass.