So it's been quite a while since i ranted last...probably because i've been developing new hateful relationships with several people in my office. As an aside, i would like to thank whatever the fuck higher power there is for the fact that i HAVE a job. But that doesn't mean i can't hate on a few select people who i want to fucking choke every time i see them.
So I work in a law firm. You have the law firm hierarchy of partner, associate, paralegal, secretary, secretarial assistant, and whatever underlings that fall below them. As an associate, I have to blow all the partners and do whatever the hell they ask me to do, even if it's fucking retarded and makes no goddam sense at all and only reflects poorly on me.
Surprisingly, the worst people in the firm that I want to fucking fall off a ten story building are all women. Actually that's probably not that surprising. Women are generally cunts. There are two such women that I can't fucking stand in my firm. One, a partner, who's as obnoxious as they come and reminds me of some kind of loud ass shitstain tropical bird that you can hear from 10 miles away and want dead.
I hate this woman. She has about as much class as someone who was raised by sewer rats and frankly, i think she's a dumbass. SHe probably blew her way into the poorly ranked law school she attended, then most likely have to blow her way out of that because she can't pass the normal way. Then there's the whole loud as fuck thing. When she's talking on the phone, you can hear her from anywhere in the firm. Yet no one would ever think to say anything to her about it- lest they get yelled at in a white trash bash fashion by this whore. So she's loud and stupid. Great combination. And i have to take orders from this woman. I would love nothing more than to tell her to shut the fuck up and crawl back to the fucking trailer park where she came from (where they no doubt don't give a shit if you sound like you're giving labor when you're talking on the phone), and that she's one of the few lawyers who doesn't know how to read a case. But no, I have to kiss her ass like everyone else's. Such a fucking goddam shame. Maybe finally one day someone will have the courage to tell her what we're all thinking.
The other person i hate is a paralegal who THINKS she's a partner and the sound of her voice makes me want to jam butter knives in my eyes. I hate this bitch.
She never does anything you tell her to. Talk about needing to be taken down a peg or ten. Listen, i get it- you don't want some obnoxious young lawyer half your age talking down to you. I understand that. But since I have a law degree and you have a degree from buttfuck community college, you fucking do what i tell you to do. You are not allowed to order ME around. I don't care if you've been at this firm since 1937 so you feel you have some kind of seniority. Fuck you and shove your paralegal seniority up your ass. I realize i sound condescending, but i have no problems with the other paralegals who do not feel they have to assert themselves as major bitch cunts, only this one. And she doesn't DO anything! She does absolutely nothing for me. Even if i tried to ask her to do something, i would get a fucking earful about why she can't do whatever i asked her to do and then she would tell me to do it. I don't get that. Do you fucking job and stop acting like a partner. Maybe had you not gotten knocked up at a young age you would have made it further, but you did, so fuck you.
My secretary is like that too. ALways trying to get out of shit by telling me it's the paralegal's job. Not to mention the fact that she dresses like a fat participant of an 80s jazzercise class.
Literally she wears tights, a tee shirt and sneakers. You work in a law firm. Fucking dress like it you fat snatch.
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